First Ever

For my first entry, I 'd just really like to tell you a little about me- my life now, my life a month ago, a year ago and the plans in my life of which I'd really like to follow.  To start, I graduated Rogers High School in 2009 and from there moved out and went to the UofA. It was the first time that I had ever been on my own and I really like it...a lot.  I had a boyfriend at the time, of four years, that I lived with.  During my first year of college, well more like the beginning of my first semester, I realized that I was not completely satisfied with where I was, mainly in terms of my relationship, and I was not sure why.  I still believe to this day that because I had never been in any other relationship, I had grown to wonder if there was more out there for me.  I would try to push the thought into the back of my mind, but it never went away and it eventually put me at a very rough time in my life where I was severly depressed.  I was to the point to where I didn't care if I was alive any longer.  I think I was this way because my change of heart was so unexpected.  I had absolutely no idea as to why I felt this way.  It was even harder because we had lived together during this and I just wanted out.  We ended up taking a break, but I know it just wasn't that same...and eventually ended it.  Because out relationship was a big deal to our families, no one actually knew that things were over months before they actually found out.  Most of my friends didn't know either...except Andrea; which is why I was probably looked down upon for dating Tyler (my current boyfriend).  It probably seemed like I broke up with John on a Wednesday and started seeing Tyler on that Friday.  That was definitely not the case.

I only went into detail about my past because it really made me who I am today.  I appreciate life so much more today than I did a year ago because I knew how it felt to want to die.  Since then, I knew that I could love someone else and I'm grateful for that.  That brings me to where I am today.

I've known Tyler since the sixth grade and used to talk a lot a long time ago, but of course, we never became close throughout all of the years of gradeschool.  They only thing we would do to communicate was sending a random text to one another maybe once or twice a school year to 'keep in touch'.  One of the last times, before we started dating, that he texted me was when he was still in basic training for the Army.  At this point in time, my breakup with John was already started and I told Tyler this....which I don't think he expected, and from there he told me when he would be back in town.  We planned to hang out once he got back to catch up and we did.  The first night we hung out was at his friends Aaron's house.  They were having a get together so I stopped by.   Honestly, I was super nervous.  I remember exactly what he was wearing and the way he smelt.....which was amazing.  I was sort of shy because that's just me by nature, and the fact that I've always had even the slightest crush on him, made me shell up.  I was a sucker....I really liked him.  From that night on, we started hanging out almost every day.  He invited me to his Army Christmas dinner, I met his parents, and I'd stay over at his house from time to time.  I honestly never saw it come, the whole Tyler and Alicia thing...but it did and I'm so happy it did.