Please correct me if I'm totally and completely wrong in this, but...here we go.
Tyler has been training really hard to succeed in what he wants to do in the Army and I've been trying very hard to support him because I know it's what he really wants. With that said, I've been trying to motivate him by going rucking with him for miles, I've tried to motivate him to wake up earlier to get his PT in and because I'm trying to get into better shape, I've done it, too. The issue is that he is very hard to get up early in the morning...so many mornings this has failed and we end up not doing anything PT like together. I'll admit, when we have ran together, I'm not a great runner and I'm not near as fast as him or can go as many miles as he can, but I try and I mostly do it for him. You can say that I want to be his little cheerleader. Recently, he's started running with one of his guy friends and a girl that he works with. She's two years younger than us, and as I know he loves me and all (yadda yadda yadda), I don't feel like it's okay that he is getting support from another female. I'm kind of okay with it since it's with a guy too, but he said that he'd do it with just her if the guy friend didn't want to. Before you tell me I'm crazy for feeling this way, let me explain. He chooses to run with her because she can do so very fast and can run for miles...which is good motivation for him. I understand this, but I know that if things were flipped, if I was training for something, there was a guy that was a great runner and I was running with him, not Tyler (regardless if he couldn't keep up with me and that was my excuse), he wouldn't approve at all. And I'm not just assuming that he wouldn't approve, I asked him if he would approve and he said that he would not. Now, in relationships, I'm all about equality and I feel like this is not equal AT ALL. I do not feel like he should be getting support and motivation from another damn chick and it really, really, really aggrivates me. It's really been bothering me, and because of it, I have been trying to run and gett better at running so that he understands that I can motivate him, too. I don't know how this sounds to any of you, but when he's getting support and motivation from another female, it makes me feel like I'm not doing good enough. So now I feel like I'm building a complex and competing with this girl and it's driving me insane. I'll go ahead and say that I honestly feel like I'm not 'good enough' and not supportive enough for him, in this aspect, and it really hurts my feelings. I know I am, I now just feel like I need to prove it.
Blah, I'm not proud for letting this get to me, but I can't help the way things make me feel. Sorry for gramatical errors, it's just not my day.
1. You're already doing far more to support him than a lot of girls would. I know I wouldn't be caught dead waking up that early to go running, love or no.
ReplyDelete2. You are being very reasonable. It'd be one thing if he were comfortable with the hypothetical situation of you running with a guy, but, since he's not, then obviously he should be respectful of the Golden Rule at the very least!
THANK YOU! I was honestly wondering if I was being a little too ridiculous about the situation, so I really appreciate the response! It's nice to know that I'm not completely crazy :p
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