Stresscation

"Stresscation"- a vacation that has turned completely stressful; no longer a joyful vacation; not fun; annoying; frustrating; not fun, ugh; fucking stupid; ew: Stresscation. (WARNING: This post may contain a lot of vulgar words).

I'm supposed to be going to California on 'vacation' in late August. I'm not looking forward to it. Nope, not at all. This really aggrivates me because normally I would be estatic at the idea of having a week off from work and not being in Arkansas. Not this time. Why, you ask? (I never hardly complain about Tyler's mother, but I can't help it). This vacation has turned stressful because of her. I understand that because she now lives in California, she and Tyler barely get to see one another. I get it, I really do. I'm all for going to California to visit. I love his mom, but the lady is stressing me the fuck out. First of all, Tyler and I do not make a lot of money. Yes, I work 40 hours a week, but I also put out a lot of money on bills and such, which doesn't leave me very much vacation $$$. This is an issue for many reasons.

1) She doesn't understand that a ticket one way is equal to one of my monthly bills. That equals two bills.
2) She doesn't understand that neither of us can afford taking more than a week off of work. This entails us not only spending money while on vacation, but not making a weeks worth of $$$.
3) I am also in the process of getting a better position. I don't know if I have it yet. I should find out this week. If I don't get, all I will have to ask off for would be the weekdays, since I already have the weekends off. If I get this new position, then that means I would have to ask for more days off in the long run.

THENNNNNN... We were talking about the trip via email and I told her that I am trying my hardest to work things out. I told her my situation and that I didn't want to jeopardize my current position or even ruin my chances at getting this new one. Sounds about right...right? Well, she pull the "importance" card. Meaning she said, "well good, it makes me feel important to you." Well lady, of course you are! But please, I'm begging you, PLEASE...that card is not needed. It only adds stress to the situation. It makes me feel bad about being concerned with my job; which I shouldn't feel bad for.

Now it's just one big stress ball forming in the bottom of my stomach. I have a stress baby. It's growing bigger and bigger and I hate it.

It also doesn't help when I'm trying to be a voice of reason for Tyler, as well. He works less than I do. Like, right now he's only part-time. He has recently complained about not having money, however, he's trying to get me to agree to stay even long than a week. I keep telling him that I know we're going to get there and we aren't going to have any fun because we won't have money to spend. We're going to break. Not just that, but when we get home we won't be getting a paycheck because we wouldn't of been working. He thought that he would only be missing four days of work, but I let him know that he'd actually be missing a full seven days. I think that may have woken him up a bit, but not enough. I told him,

"Ty, babe, I know you all too well. We are going to get to California and we are both going to be broke. You're going to get really frustrated and start cursing like none other and want to go home."

" He laughed (because he knows I am correct as this has happened before). I then said,

"Yep, you laugh because you know it'll happened. It happened in Florida last Summer...remember? And Tyler, you can get really frustrated with your mother, especially when she wants to do a lot of stuff of which you don't want to do. She's already mentioned stuff that she wants to do that you said you don't want to do. I know you, all too well, and I know that you will have a kiddie-bitch fest with that as well. Babe, add not having money and you're gonna wanna come back to Arkansas really fast...and I'd hate for us to come home frustrated to no paycheck."

I can be a real bitch when I know I am right. But GOOD GAWWWWWD, I know this is how it's all gonna go down!

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it'll be fun, but I honestly feel like it won't be the best because I'm going to be stressed the whole time.

What do you think? Do you think I'm being super unreasonable? Do you think I'm being selfish?

Hi, my name is Alicia.

I feel as if I need to introduce myself again because I've been so distant. I swear I'm still here, for all of my 8 wonderful followers to follow :)

My life has been super busy lately. I am no longer a customer relations agent for Walmart, but an agent for Private Brands instead. I'm excited to be learning more about the company and expanding my education as a whole. It'll really help me I believe. I've been training for the position for about two weeks now from 7:30am-4:00pm Monday-Friday, so by the time I get out of work, I go straight home to enjoy an evening with Mr. Handsome. I get the weekends off and all to myself, which is absolutely wonderful. I'm in love with it to be honest, and it's a nice challenge.

Tyler is trying to be released from the Reserve as his contract is up, and he is then going to go Active, which I am very excited for him about. It's where his heart is set, and though I know it will be super tough (you military ladies are so strong for doing what you do), I know it'll all be worth it and I support him 100%.

This past weekend Tyler and I went to the River and kayaked for six miles. It was crazy fun and I got a pretty good tan. We went with one of my friends and one of his friends. The two didn't know each other, but they got along really well, so it wasn't awkward. lol Thank goodness. Afterwards, we went to dinner and then filed a police report...haha. Tyler's car got hit by an intoxicated driver the night prior. The fucker knew he did it and when we tried to call him to work things out, was completely and totally ignorant about the whole thing. The police spoke with him on the phone, but he was shady with them and wouldn't give them any of his information. I really do hate the cops here. They act like they are the shit, but when it really comes down to it, they dont' do ANYTHING! They knew this guy was in the wrong, but they blew it off and didn't continue any kind of search for him (even though he was completely unwilling with them). BLAH!

My teeth are moving pretty quickly! And you have no idea how much this excites me. :p I can't wait for them to be beautiful!

With the thought of moving to North Carolina, there is something I definitely want to do once I get there. I saw Lady (over at NoModelLady) promoting the Pin-up CherryBlossom photography and I want to do a shoot SOOOOO BAD! I have always wanted to do a pin-up shoot, and I think Tyler would enjoy it, as well. I think I'll wait until I get the braces off of course. :p

With a photoshoot in mind, that reminds me! I've been working out, running, and watching what I put in my body and it's been working!! YAY! I'm down to about 124 and just really trying to tone up a bit.

I'm really going to try to keep updating, but it's quite difficult being so busy all of the time...so until next time!

No one said it would be easy

...or cheap. I went to the Periodontics doctor on Tuesday and I found out how the AOO procedure really works and how much it is going to be. The operation is really neat and interesting actually, and I was shocked to find out that I'd be awake the whole time, too. A total of four to five hours of my mouth wide open. That's not the hard part, though. I found out that it would cost $5,143.00, and it would all need to be paid in full on the day of the operation. No insurance company, dental or medical, covers this procedure, so I'm out of luck on that one. They do offer Care Credit, however, but of course, I was only approved for $1,000.00 of the $5,000.00 because I don't have much credit, at all. The doctor wants to do this in a month. A MONTH. Which would mean that I would need the money that soon. You're supposed to get this done very soon after braces are put on, so that's why there is a rush. I don't know what I'm going to do as of yet, but I'm determined to figure something out.
Tomorrow is the extraction day... I'm not looking forward to missing four front teeth, (at least they aren't SUPER noticable, but still. I'm not going to like it. I just keep telling myself that the outcome is going to be great. That's what truly matters.

Hope everyone is doing great and enjoys their weekend! I'll try to update with some photos soon!

Smiles and Tattoos

I look a lot younger now because of the braces, but I really like this photo of Tyler and I. This was us going out for a friends birthday dinner.

Brittany and I.

Blake and I. He is seriously a hoot.

Katie, the birthday woman!

This is a photo I took when I had just dyed my hair. I promise I'm not nude, but wearing a strapless dress :)

And for the tattoo part. I remember saying that I would add photos of all of the tats that I have so far, so here they are, in order of when I got them.

My angel wings. For my father that passed away when I was younger.

My sparrow. Sparrows can mean many things, but most notably, they signify freedom, and this is the reason that I got one. The time when I got it, I knew that it was time for me to leave home. I have always been very mature and responsible growing up, but I was never really treated like I was by my parents. Because of this, I HAD to get out and be on my own. It was a big step, but it was time that I fly from the nest.

"No Lies, Just Love". I got this soon after I got out of a four year relationship. The purpose for these really is simple, but I get the most grief about this tattoo because people just don't understand. I got it because during that relationship, I knew that I wanted out of it, but I kept lying to myself and stayed in it for much longer than my heart really wanted to. I made a vow to myself to not to try to convince myself that something can work out, when you honestly know it cannot.

"The Harder the Conflict, the More Glorious the Triumph". Of course, the title of my blog and a quote that I will forever live by. Around the time of that break up, I had no idea why I had such a sudden change of heart and it really confused me and bothered me a lot. My emotions were out of nowhere, and totally unexpected. During the whole thing, after we were completely over, I still lived with him. Not because I wanted to, who would, but because we had a lease and I had nowhere else to go because of money. I am a good person, and because I am, I still paid my half of the rent even when I was completely out because that was a commitment that I knew I had. Besides that, during this whole time, my mom gave me a lot of grief for not knowing what my mind and heart was thinking, which made everything harder. Friends did, too. My friend didn't agree with me breaking up with him and the way that everything was happening, she recited this quote to me. Like I said, it really hit home and applies to everything in life. The harder the issues, the conflicts that you struggle through, the more you learn from them and grow. You appreciate so much more when you have to go through hard times.

Busy Little Bee

I've been so busy lately. Working full time and going to school full time is a heck of a job, and it really takes up all of my 24 hours/day. Add in appointment after appointment and then you really don't have much time at all. Speaking of appointments, I have my braces on! The wires on the front top and bottom aren't applied yet, but the left and right sides are. Since I am getting four of my front teeth and my four wisdom teeth extracted on Friday, they decided to wait on wiring on the front...which makes sense. With that said...come Friday, I'll be in major pain and so will Tyler. He's getting his wisdom teeth taken out, as well, and at the same exact time as I am. His mom is in town (she lives in California) so she is going to take care of us :) Along with my braces, I have these annoying blue dots on either side of my mouth, on the bottom on one tooth. They're called "turbos" and they're there to keep my top teeth from knocking off my bottom brackets. Turbos wouldn't be all that bad if they weren't the only part of my mouth that touches when I bite down or try to chew food. But they are. I can barely eat because of these turbos and it is a little inconvenient. I've been drinking a lot of smoothies, and buttered grits are my new bread. Here's to unintentional weight-loss!

I know, I'm complaining. I also know that I'm the one that signed up for all of this work to be done. I told Tyler that even though I may whine a lot about the pain or the annoying factor for the next year and so, I'm really actually happy that I'm doing all of this and to just ignore it (unless, of course, I'm seriously DYING with pain). I'm just ready for the outcome and can't wait until the surgeries are done, the braces are off, and I have a great, wide, and beautiful set of pearl whites! :D

I plan on posting photos during the process. Before, during all of my treatment, and after the treatment so you guys can see the progress made and difference in everything. I could always do that on a dental blog, but I don't want to leave this one behind. I like it too much and love all of you six followers :)_

Somebody Pinch Me

Oh my, oh my. Have you ever had that feeling where you already knew that you loved someone, but for some reason those feelings were just multiplied times a million? I felt that way today when I saw Tyler this morning and he gave a huge hug and kissed me. My whole body started to melt and I could not hide my smile. I don't know what it was, but that man's kiss was like a love potion poison and it was out to get me. I loved every second of it.

Sorry for the mushy-ness, but my goodness, I'm in a terrific mood now because of this.

I've added this photo before, but it cracks me up! Tyler doesn't exactly look like Tyler in this photo, but it explains his silly side.

Thank you for contacting customer relations.. my name is .... X1,000,000,000

and repeat over and over during an eight hour shift on a Saturday. The joy! (okay, my job isn't that bad)

Anywho, this is an exciting one! For me anyway, and I'm pumped! Here's a little bit of what's going on in my life:

- I went to my local bank that I've been with for as long as I've had an account and applied for a loan to help with my dental work. Surprisingly, I have pretty good credit, but because I am so young, and have absolutely no collateral to my name whatsoever, I couldn't get as much as I wanted. I still got a loan, enough to pay the down payment on my braces and to help with the four additional teeth extractions. My monthly payments are rather small, except since I'm only able to pay the down payment, I'll have twenty monthly payments of $180 for the orthodontist. I'm just going to say that it will totally be worth it. I'm so ready for this and am excited.

- With that said, I will be getting those darn wisdom teeth out and the four additional toofs :p pulled on April 22. Soon after, my braces will be applied! I'm so freaking excited!

...and the last little tidbit of news....
....
........
................. THERE HAS BEEN TALK OF MARRIAGE!!!!!!

I know, I know. I sound like a little girl...but, YAY!!!
It's been brought up before, and we both know that when he is done with his training and he is permanently stationed somewhere that I'm going with him, but we've seriously talked about it lately. SERIOUSLY. As many have to do when they are tied to the military, we may have to settle with just a courthouse marriage because Tyler is going to be gone WAY soon, like, possibly 2-4 months soon and that is NO TIME to plan something formal and wonderful. So, as much as I hate the idea of just getting a paper and it being done, (in Arkansas you do not need witnesses or even a ceremony :( ) I'll be okay because I love him and really can see us together for the rest of our lives. We would still plan an actual wedding once we got settled and such, so I can compromise ;)
All of this may just mean that in the next few weeks or so, I could Mrs. Lovett- Harriman. Or just Mrs. Harriman. To hyphen or not to hyphen :p